


Confess

by eyelessethan



Category: An Inspector Calls - Priestley
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Feminist Themes, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, My First Work in This Fandom, Oh My God, Other, Panic Attacks, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, References to Depression, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 12:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21373876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyelessethan/pseuds/eyelessethan
Summary: Eric is a mess. Sheila is a newly emerging feminist. Mr and Mrs Birling are fucking terrible parents. Gerald is having a breakdown and trying to hide it. Edna gets sassy. Inspector Goole? who is she?my take on what happens when the inspector leaves.
Relationships: Eric Birling/Gerald Croft
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1 : Damn it Goole.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi you pieces of soil, it's feeding time so you can have this trash.  
Please take care of yourself and don't read if you will get triggered.  
lots of... questionable feelings,   
-Ethan.

Eric stared, dumbfoundedly into the distance, glass of whiskey in his hand forgotten. Nothing made sense. His head burned, and his eyes pulled at the light. The stress, the disbelief and denial, the complete… inconceivable things that had happened here tonight… Eric abruptly stood up and sped out of the room, ignoring the others cries. He made a dash for the bathroom, the queasy feeling in his stomach welling up so ferociously Eric just about made it to the toilet and threw up hot sick out of his mouth.  
As his throat convulsed Eric could feel salty tears leaking out of his eyelids, and cascading down his cheeks. When he was finished he slumped against the wall, his head feeling as if someone had hammered a thousand nails in it, and started hysterically sobbing. There was so much to process, so much ineffable happenings to perceive that Eric had been reduced into this. This snivelling, sobbing, filthy pile of mess huddled up against the wall of a bathroom like some… like some low-life. His shameful behaviour was interrupted by the housemaid, Edna, sticking her head through the door and then immediately shutting it. This was followed by the sound of footsteps running down the hallway that Eric had previously. Maybe she had gone to get help? Who would come? The last thing Eric needed was his father too see him in a situation like this. He already blamed him for the nights happenings. Perhaps I’ll just fall asleep, Eric thought. Then I won’t have to see anyone… And with that Eric Birlings vision slowly faded to black and he heard what sounded like his own head smashing against the floor. Ouch…

Sheila cried after her brother, who had practically flown out of the room. She stood up and made a dash towards the door Eric had left through, “Eric! Where are you going?!” As Sheila went to chase after her brother, a strong but shaking hand grabbed her shoulder, making her spin around. Sheila looked into Gerald’s solemn and slightly wide eyes. “Let the chap do what he needs to do,” The ginger’s voice broke a little bit, “He was looking rather pale, if I do say so myself.” Sheila frowned and sat back down, shaking her head. Her father nodded and grunted out, “The stupid boy has been going too heavy on the port. God knows he needs to get it out of his system!” Edna walked into the room, back straight. “Is there anything I can do, sirs?” Sheila’s father nodded again and his gruff voice spoke out “Go and check on the boy, make sure he hasn’t done too much damage.” At these words her mother spoke up as well. “The last thing we need is another problem.” Edna ran out of the room just as Sheila stood up again and leaned threateningly towards her mother. “Eric is not a problem!” Mrs Birling matched her daughters pose. “You will respect your betters! There has been far too much lip from you tonight, and Eric!” The thin woman tightened her grip on the table. “So for that matter, you are both problems!” Sheila once again shortened the distance between her and her mother. “You have been getting ‘lip’ because for god’s sake, no one else is going to bloody give it to you!” Mr birling slammed his fist on the table, catching everyone’s attention. “Enough! Sheila, you better watch the way your speaking, or I’ll wash out your mouth with soap!”   
Just as Gerald began to speak up, Edna dramatically re-entered, looking flustered. Mr Birling glared in her direction. “Well? What is it?” Out of breath, Edna said, “It’s master Eric, sir. He seems to be in quite a predicament.” By the concern in the maids voice, the family and Mr croft all hurriedly walked to the bathroom. Sheila, being the first to arrive, opened the door. There lay her brother, On the floor, his hair dishevelled and his face a mess, eyes puffy and red from crying, tear tracks staining his cheeks. “Eric!” Sheila yelled, dropping to the floor and cradling her brother in her arms smoothing out his hair with her shaking hands. She froze. Something warm and sticky was on his head. She slowly pulled her fingers away, pleading denial.   
Sheila’s fingers were bright red, and blood was pooling in her lap.  
She screamed.

Gerald followed Sheila through the bathroom doors. He felt out of place. This was the Birling family. Not his. Gerald knew that he shouldn’t be there. Yet as he heard Sheila’s scream, he banished the thought and skidded around the door, Mr and Mrs Birling behind him. Gerald’s ex-fiancé was cradling Eric’s body to her chest, and crimson liquid was slowly gathering in her lap, tears dripping into it every other second. Bollocks. He dropped to the floor, crouching beside Eric, and turned the younger man’s head around. He paused. “It looks as if the boy has hit his head on the floor. Nothing too bad, but it could get infected.” He swallowed. “He needs to lie down properly somewhere-“ He was interrupted as Sybil yelped in shock, and quickly turned to her husband. “We can’t have an Inspector coming around  
like this! Tell them Eric has had an accident and to come again tomorrow, or in a few days’ time.” She prattled. Gerald’s jaw dropped. How can a mother stand and be concerned for a family reputation when her son is bleeding on the bathroom floor? Surely if tonight has taught them anything- no. Gerald can’t look back on tonight or he fears he will be lying where Eric does now. He rids the thought, looks down at Eric’s body and requests Mr Birling To help lift him. “He needs rest, lying down on a bed somewhere. Not here on his sister’s lap.” Gruffly, Arthur obliges and helps carry his son to his quarters. Gerald lay Eric down on the bed, and Edna rushed in to tuck him in and Bandage his head. Arthur announced, “I must make that phone call. Then I am off to bed.” He waved his wife. “Come on my dear.” As the two departed the room, Gerald shook his head and turned to Sheila, who was fretting over Eric now that Edna had left. “Will you be alright? It’s getting late and I must get home, but I shall be back tomorrow?” Sheila merely nodded, still fussing over her brother.  
Gerald quietly left the house.

“Fire and blood and anguish.”  
“You’re the one I blame for this!”  
“So you had to go to bed with her.”  
Fire and blood and anguish and fire and blood and-  
As he squirmed about, Eric felt something damp and cold pad against his forehead, and he tried to shake off the white mist clouding his thoughts and eyesight. As he slowly got into focus, the figure of his sister blurrily came into view. And soon her whole face, brown hair cascading messily down from the bun it was in, her sympathetic and worried expression was hovering over him. Eric shot up. “The Inspector! Has he arrived yet?! Please I have to see him!” He tried to scramble out of the bed but was only huddled back into it by his sister. “Eric, don’t worry. Dad called and told them to come back later. Being who he is, they were happy to oblige of course.” Sheila sighed. Eric’s incessant rambling was not ceased, however. “But Sheila please!” Eric darted his gaze around the room as if searching for someone. Someone to answer. An Inspector, perhaps. Sheila shook her head, “I’m sorry brother. You will have to wait, I’m afraid.” Eric still struggled against the given aid. “I have to- You don’t understand-Sheila! I have to- to confess!” Sheila grimaced and stroked his hair. “I have to tell him! I have to tell him what I did! Or- Or.. Bad things! The fire! The… the blood! I have to! PLEASE!” Eric was writhing about now. Desperate. Sheila was in tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” She shouted, hating seeing her brother turned into this. What had Goole done? Eric’s head was pounding. As his ramblings quietened he could only think of one word.  
Confessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfessconfesscon-  
His vision faded, and darkness slowly took hold of Eric.


	2. Chapter 2: Panic! at the Birling's house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric has a mega hangover. Is Edna a witch? Sheila is concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you useless worms! Enjoy this chapter. It's basically a Segway into the next one so... *Shrugs*  
Take care  
-Ethan

Eric was once again awakened by the sound of the rain drumming against the windows and the cool spring wind howling. His head was thumping still and as he tried to open his eyes a searing pain shot through his head with the light. He ran his dry tongue against his mouth and found no moisture as he tried to swallow. It burnt. He fumbled around on his bedside table for a glass of water, vision vague. SMASH! Eric had knocked the glass of water right off the table, and he could feel wet start to soak the side of his bed. Damn. While Eric scrabbled around and regained his vision, squinting in the light, he heard the door creak open. “Master Eric? Are you alright?” Edna took sight of the seen and speedily ran in to help. “Edna…” Eric croaked, “What time is it?” As Edna cleared up the broken shards of glass and water she said “It’s 10am sir. Your Sister insisted you be left in bed to get some proper rest.” Eric jumped up. 

“What time is the new inspector coming? Is he already here?” Eric jumped out of bed, his head protesting against the sudden abandonment of wellbeing. “God I have to go and see him!” Edna reached forward and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. “The inspector won’t be here for another day yet, sir.” She coaxed him back into bed slowly. Noticing Eric’s wince at swallowing she stood up and straightened her back, “please excuse me for a second, sir.” Eric nodded dumbly as Edna went to do whatever she was doing. She emerged not a full minute later with a tray in hand. On it was a glass of water, some biscuits and toast. There was also a cup of tea. Edna gracefully placed it down in front of Eric. “How on earth did you get that all done so quickly?” Edna smirked a little bit and tapped her nose. “It doesn’t matter how I got it sir, it matters that you make good use of it.” Eric shook his head disbelievingly and reached for the glass of water and took several large gulps.

He reached up to itch his head, to find bandages tied around it. “Edna, what’s this? What happened?” Edna looked at him sympathetically. “They’re from last night. You hit your head in the bathroom.” Last night’s happenings suddenly flew back to Eric and he let out a pathetic whimper. “Who found me?” Eric started fiddling with a loose thread on his shirt. “Was it Dad?” Edna’s face screwed up. “I believe they all went after you. Master Sheila found you first though. She seemed to be quite distressed by your… situation.” Edna shifted uncomfortably. “Then Mr Croft came in and assessed the damage to your head.” Eric looked down, ashamed. “What of mother? And… And Father?” Eric asked quietly. Edna seemed uncomfortable. “They were… they were less.. concerned about your situation, sir.” Her cheeks reddened. “They seemed to be more interested in the family reputation sir. I’m sorry.” Eric snorted loudly. “Don’t be. I didn’t suspect they would have changed much. They never have been to interested in Sheila and I.” The pair settled into an awkward silence as Eric finished his tray, leaving a few biscuits and some tea. 

Fire and blood and anguish. He spun around to Edna. “Here. You have the rest Edna. I am no longer hungry.” Edna shook her head, “I couldn’t possibly sir. It is not my place.” Eric rested his aching head in one hand, pushing the tray towards the housemaid. “Well maybe it should start to be.” Edna stared at Eric, confused. Eric spoke again, “Maybe it’s time that peoples positions changed.” Eric pushed the tray. “Have them. Please. You have been kind to me. Kinder than my own parents.” Edna relented and gave in, nibbling some biscuits and gingerly drinking some tea.  
As Eric stared into the distance, still trying to process everything, the door opened again. His sister, Sheila stood at the door, in a simple blue dress. “Eric! You’re awake! How are you feeling?” Eric grimaced. “I’m.. I’m fine.” He lied. Sheila looked at him disbelievingly. “Yeah, right.” She sat down on the corner of the bed. “Listen. None of us are ok. So don’t try and lie. Especially to me, brother.” Eric turned to look at Sheila guiltily. “Sorry.” He murmured. “It’s alright Eric. Just please don’t lie to me about your wellbeing again.” Sheila then noticed Edna eating the biscuits and tea, and then inspected Eric questioningly. He shrugged. “I wasn’t hungry,” Eric shifted uncomfortably in his position. “So offered Edna the rest of my breakfast.” Sheila smiled kindly, “That was nice of you Eric, I’m glad you have had a change of heart.” Eric nodded.

“So…” he pondered how to phrase his question. “Did you come in here to tell me anything or… did you want anything?” Eric choked out, throat still sore. Sheila stared at the floor. “Can’t I check on my brother?” Eric wheezed. “You never have before, why now?” He queried teasingly. “Sorry. Daddy wants us to meet in the main room in ten minutes, when Gerald arrives.” She clasped her hands together in her lap. “I did also want to check on you. I was worried, you know?” She was worried about him? If she was worried about him where had she been in the past six months when he had been drinking himself to sleep? “Of course you were.” He said disbelievingly Sheila grasped his hand, leaning in. “Yes Eric, I was. You know it was a lot of blood just for an accident. I thought you’d… I thought you’d done something very silly.” Eric’s cheeks reddened and he choked out an apology. “It’s fine,” Sheila reassured. “Just come to the living room in ten minutes. Nine, now.” And with that said his sister walked back out the room, leaving Eric with Edna once again. 

He gradually got up, Pulling on a fresh white shirt, a waistcoat and black trousers. There was no need for formalities like white ties now. Before he turned to leave the room, he flashed one last glance at the housemaid, who was tidying up and making the bed. “Edna?” He questioned. The woman in question looked up, surprised that he had called her. “Yes sir?” He looked down, and then back up. Hesitantly. “Do you… do you ever wish that you were like us?” Edna’s face twisted in confusion. “I’m not quite sure what you mean, sir.” Eric sighed. “Rich. High up. Socially recognized. You know.” Edna looked down for a second, considering the question carefully. “Sometimes I do. But I wouldn’t risk it.” Eric felt puzzled and he leaned further back into the room. “Risk what?” he inquired. Edna exhaled.

“Corruption.”

Eric quickly departed, in fear of hearing anything else true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! Come back soon for more...   
Coming up: Mr Birling gets triggered, Gerald is hot, Sheila is all bout dem rights y'all, and Eric has a panic attack. also Mrs Birling is a bitch. that's it. that's her whole character.  
Kudos and comments are appreciated! (No pressure)  
Tumblr: thatreallyrattlesmybones  
Quotev: EyelessEthan  
(should I add my ig?)


	3. Chapter 3: Ouch dad!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a meeting and people get angry, Eric has a breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup slugs! back again with chapter 3.  
Trigger warnings for panic attacks and mentions of rape.  
Please take care of yourself,  
-Ethan

Eric slumped forward in his seat. He felt on edge. He was sitting exactly where he had last night, when… RING! Sheila jumped up. “Oh! That will be Gerald,” she said. Mr Birling gestured Edna to go and get him, when Sheila jumped up again. “I’ll get the door, dad.” Mr Birling grunted unhappily. Eric heard Sheila open the door, and he also heard the uncomfortable greetings. His head was searing. Ouch. Gerald Croft walked into the room, hair brushed elegantly and looking primal in his black three piece. “Good morning, everyone.” He announced, sounding rather off. Mr Birling regarded him happily, “Gerald! Come in, take a seat.” And Gerald did. Eric shifted uncomfortably. It was very quiet. You could here a pin drop. Until his Sister broke it. “This is awkward.” She burst out, cheeks reddening. “Nonsense! I’m assuming you know why we’re here, Sheila?” Mrs Birling said accusingly. The girl in question shook her head. Eric’s mother looked taken aback. She turned to Eric. “Do you, Eric?” That was a good question. Why were they here? He found himself shaking his head. 

Eric’s Father murmured in confusion. “We are here, you two, and Gerald, to get our story straight for the real Inspector’s arrival tomorrow.” What? Surely if Goole had taught them anything it was that lying was the worst possible thing they could do. “Aren’t we just going to tell the truth, father? Surely that is what is best.” His sister voiced his own opinions. Father laughed. “The truth? The truth? I think you’re a bit squiffy Sheila! Honestly, I thought you would of shaken the silly things you said last night.” Sheila looked taken aback. “The silly things? Really dad? I don’t think you quite understand what on earth was being said to you last night!” She stood up and loomed towards her father who copied her. Eric’s shoulders hunched in himself a bit and he could feel slight tremors in his hands. “We have to tell the truth. Tell this inspector all the horrible acts we committed upon Eva Smith! Or we know exactly where we will get ourselves!” Mr Birling cackled. “The ‘horrible acts’ ? That’s exactly why we aren’t telling them the truth! We can’t have any scandalous behaviour going around!” His Father turned around to look at Gerald. “You understand, don’t you Gerald?” Gerald stared at the ground. “Maybe telling the truth would be a good idea..” He mumbled quietly. “I don’t believe this!” shouted Eric’s father. 

Eric hunched tighter in on himself, wincing at the shouting of his dad. Everyone was stood up now, Gerald to stand with Sheila, and his mother to join his father. They had gotten into sides.

Everyone turned to look at him. “What do you think boy?! Should we tell the truth like these two fools think, or should we come up with a socially acceptable story that won’t tear our names to pieces!” Eric’s head whipped around madly. Everyone was looking at him. Everyone’s eyes followed his every movement, spied on his every thought. Thoughts racing through his head. “I think… I think we should tell the truth. We should.. We should confess.” He choked out.

Confess.

Father stepped closer towards him. “Really?! You want everyone to know what you did?”

Confess.

“You know I can have you in jail? Put in Jail for the money you stole?”

Confess.

“Father!” Sheila cried. “You can’t possibly mean such things!” she carried on. “Oh I do. Just think boy. Stolen money. Fifty whole pounds. And why?” Father continued, nearing Eric, teeth bared. Growing angry.

Confess.

“Because you- yes you. You rape-“

Mr Birling was cut off as his son collapsed onto the floor, heavy breathing. Eric scrambled away, dragging himself to the nearest corner and curling up in it. Oh god, he can’t breathe. Oh god. He buried his head in his hands, slowly rocking back and forth. He can’t breathe. He started to sob somehow, hot tears streaking down his face. He can’t fucking breathe.

He couldn’t hear and his head hurt and his face burned and his throat ached and he couldn’t breathe- Soft hands. Soft hands that Eric barely registered being laid on his shoulders. He flinched away, panic heightening as someone tried to touch him. “ric- Eric.” He just about heard his name and tried to focus on the sound. “Eric.” Gerald’s voice. And he must have noticed Eric heard him. Eric was shaking, vibrating, even. “Eric, my friend. You need to breathe, okay? Just breathe.” Eric shook his head manically. “I… I Can’t!” He gasped out. “Yes, Eric, you can. Just,” Gerald slowly took hold of Eric’s hands and pulled them away from his face, which was red and puffy and you could see him sobbing and choking and not breathing and oh god he can’t breathe he can’t- “Yes, Eric, you can. You can breathe.” Gerald murmured soothingly. Eric must have said that out loud. Eric noticed Gerald hadn’t let go of his shaking hands. 

Gerald slowly put one of Eric’s hands on his chest. “Can you feel me breathing? Try and copy me Eric. Just in, and out. Okay?” Eric nodded meeting Gerald’s eyes, still gasping for breath. He tried to breathe with Eric. He tried. Fuck, It wasn’t working! Was he going to die? Was he going to die right here? “It’s fine Eric, just try again.” Gerald whispered. And so Eric did. It was.. working. A little bit. Gerald’s eyes were blue. Beautiful, sky blue. Eric liked looking into them. But his vision was slowly fading to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks yall! chapter 4 soon. Sleep,, who is she?  
Kudos and comments appreciated!  
Tumblr: thatreallyrattlesmybones  
Quotev: EyelessEthan  
(also why do all my chapters end with Eric passing out? LOL)

**Author's Note:**

> that's it for now folks! come back soon for chapter 2 of this trash. Eric gets sadder and everyone else gets madder.  
kudos and comments are appreciated!  
I take constructive criticism but also if it's shit just drag me into the goddamn ground. It's 11. My e,,yes are twitch,ing.
> 
> Tumblr: thatreallyrattlesmybones  
Quotev: EyelessEthan


End file.
